This is the script of my second speech in Toast Masters. It was voted as the best prepared speech. A second consecutive win. Now, I am feeling a strange itch to continue this streak :)
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One
of the biggest problems I face these days is that I am getting older. There are
blindingly obvious signs of it everywhere. I am balding on the top, greying on
the sides. My metabolism is dropping that even water makes me put on weight.
I get tired of carrying my own weight. And annoyingly, I have a lot of things
to say, these days. I talk in great lengths and half way through, I forget the original point
itself. [Pause] Sorry, why I am I saying all these to you? Oh, the old age. Yea!
Now,
when I complain to people that I am getting older, they always have one thing
to say. “Well, you can't do anything
about it but just grow old gracefully”.
I
get so annoyed at that statement. Just what in the world is growing old gracefully? Can you really be graceful
when you are old?
Fellow
Toastmasters, this is what I want to analyse today. But to proceed, we need to nail
what grace is. Grace has 2 parts to it. One is physical – imagine Miss Universe doing a ramp walk or the royal ladies waving their hands at you. There
is so much grace in it. Men, don’t be offended. You do have grace - like when Super
Man launches himself into the air and flies. Wow, so effortless and graceful even
though he is wearing his underwear outside. The epitome of physical grace is a
swan, in my opinion. Its graceful in all angles – when it swims or drinks water
or even when it turns its head to look at you. There is total grace in it. Its not
partial - like some women I have known. They would be sitting very gracefully
and when they open their mouth, they go, “hey, how ya doing today” [in a sand
paper voice].
The
second part of grace is mental, which is exhibited mostly by outward behavior
or gestures. It comes out of a very healthy ego, an elaborate wisdom and an
infinite spiritual love for the universe. Like that of Buddha or Jesus. There
are stories of people spitting on Buddha. Yet he takes that in his stride, loves
in return and shows them the path.
Having
defined grace, lets take get back to growing old gracefully.
It
starts right from middle age onwards. Do you know what is “middle age”?
Its
when your age starts to show up in the middle.
Now,
how many of you think you look very graceful with your middle part like that?
Imagine Miss Universe walking clumsily with her huge middle part and flabs, in
a bikini. Compare that with a swan. Super Man in his twilight years, big and shapeless,
struggling to pull his weight to go up in the air?
The
point is, the physical grace is gone just when you cross into the middle age
itself.
Do I
even have to talk about old age?
Old
age is when you start to loose things one by one. You also start to become loose
[shake the body parts]. My neighbor has a grand old man living with them. His
scrotum would often get tangled with the legs of the chair and he has to
untangle himself first before getting up. What grace are you talking about here?
There
was this morning when that grandpa complained to the family that the toilet is extremely cold.
And my neighbor shortly discovered that the old man has actually peed into the
refrigerator. Oh, grace our food with your presence – Grandfather.
Behavioral Grace!
My
own grandfather was a hilarious man. He met this beautiful woman in a pub and
they hit it off. Well, the woman was 82 years old. Later he went down on his
knees and asked if she would marry him. And
she said YES. So he came home happily, grinning from ear to ear. The next
morning when he woke up, he totally forgot if she said yes or no. After so much
tension and deliberation, he decided to call her. And she went like, “Thank God
you called back. I know I said yes to someone but can't remember who”.
Lets
put things in perspective. Growing old could be a lot of fun. But grace? I
don’t think so. Not even an ounce of it. We may wish to age like wine. But unfortunately,
we only age like milk. Sad, but that is the reality. Wake up to it and STOP the bluf !
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